All Roads Lead Home
by Char-sensei
Summary: Axel wakes up, a prisoner at the Mines of Gillos, with no memory of the life he lived before. Only a ring with the initials A & R give him any sort of hint to who he was. He has no time to focus on that, when survival is a luxury. A/Ro Ri/So -Ch1 REVISED-
1. Nobody Loves You

**EDIT: **This whole chapter was reworked, and edited on 05/17/09.

**Summary**: In a post-post apocalyptic world, Axel wakes up in a mine designed as a prison, with no memory of who he is, or where he's come from, except a ring on his finger with the initials A and R engraved on it. He will then enter into a battle within himself, to try and fight the hopeless despair that seems too common-place at the Mines of Gillos, and to find the fire that Sora can see in his heart. Hopefully, when he finds it, he won't get burned.

**Author Note**: So, this is certainly something different for me. I mean, what? There's a complex plot? You're kidding, right? I don't write things like that. But, well, apparently I'm a liar, because here it is. This fic is my baby, and unlike most mother's, I want you to tear it apart. I know, I'm terrible, huh? But really, please do. I want this sucker to be perfect, so be brutally honest when you don't like something about it, or think something could be improved. There are certain aspects in writing I know I could improve in, like narration, and character complexity. So, if you're a reviewer that likes giving concrit, let me know how I'm doing on those?

And, for those SoL readers, who are probably wondering what the eff I'm doing starting another fic before updating…I'm sorry! I'm suffering some major writer's block on SoL, and its not going away. I am working on it, this sucker just punched me a few weeks ago, though, and wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it. Damn plot bunnies.

**Warnings**: This fic has things I usually don't like in other fics. Yes, I admit that I'm a huge hypocrite. There will be drug use, and angsty pasts, and first person POV, and probably other things along those lines. There will be smut too, with two boys, but I like fics with that. I suppose I should warn for violence and swearing as well. Definitely some spiritual themes also. Kind of anti-religion, but not anti-God.

Maybe I should also give a warning for an authoress who likes to ramble at the beginning of the chapter? Well, probably too late, I'm sure you've already noticed. I'll stop, so you can read the effing chapter now.

***

**::_Watching the day slip by so fast. Knowing our fate has long been cast. Working our fingers to the bone, 'cause nobody loves you when you're gone._**

_-Nobody Loves You, Garbage**::**_

***

**Chapter 1- **Nobody Loves You

The first sensation or feeling I remember being aware of, was an intense ache that had worked its way down to the core of my very essence. The second was a slightly less intense weariness that felt like it was seeping out of my pores, and perhaps soaking into the cheap linen I was lying on. Neither of them were a very pleasant sensation, and it took my brain more moments than I care to admit to, to associate a name with those two feelings.

'_Pain. Tired.'_

After a few more minutes of laying there and rememorizing what it meant to feel, I ventured to opening my eyes. My first thought was that I had lost my sight as well, before my mind managed to supply me with a word to connect to my surroundings.

'_Darkness.'_

Right. The lack of light. Now that I looked around I realized that I could actually see the faint silhouettes of objects laying around me in the room I was in, though I could not immediately identify any of them. So, with a feeling of relief, I accepted the fact that my eyesight had not been stolen from me as well.

'_Stolen?'_

I wasn't sure why, but that felt like the right word. What else had been stolen though? I wasn't sure. I thought about that as I laid there in the darkness.

I was not able to fall back asleep, though, regardless of how exhausted I felt. It seemed my body had had enough sleep, and as I focused on the feeling of being sleepy, I realized it was more of a mental tiredness that I felt. My body felt perfectly awake. I could have probably jumped up and done a little dance right then, if I could remember how to, or if every cell of my body didn't protest in little cramps every time I shifted. I wondered if I knew any dances.

The more I started to wonder on simple things like that, and think back on a time I may have done something of the sort, the more I realized I didn't know. I didn't seem to know anything. I didn't know who I was, or where I was, I just knew that those were things that I should know. I was filled with this shadow of desperation, and the residue of a mad anger, that felt like it must have been an echo of something I must have been feeling earlier. Perhaps before I had woken up? Could emotions like that linger?

I wasn't sure, but I knew things weren't right. This wasn't where I was supposed to be, wherever that was. Everything about my surroundings had started feeling so wrong, and alien, even worse than before. I could now identify what the objects in the room were; that was a desk, and chair, and those where papers on the desk, and that over there was a shelf, filled with jars, and that, in the wall, was a door. Now I could identify them, but none of it felt familiar or right.

I was staring so intently at the door, that I jumped when it was suddenly opened, and I was blinded for the first time I could remember by a bright light. I blinked a few times, clearing the starbursts from my assaulted vision, and was finally able to make out the person who was standing there, holding a lamp. The soft light cast a warm glow on a face with a…

'_Surprised?'_

…with a surprised expression on it. His eyes were wide, and his mouth hung slightly open, and he looked startled to see me.

"Oh! You're awake. They said you wouldn't be for a while yet." I blinked at the words, as I took them in. I'm not sure why, but I had half expected not to understand anything he said.

The tentative smile that had found its way to the boy's lips fell at my lack of a response. He furrowed his eyebrows, and walked over to the desk, picking up a small stack of papers that were stapled together.

"Oh…" His look had completely morphed into a frown now by this point. "Another zero…" He muttered, and flipped through the small packet. _Now_ what he was saying was not making any sense. Zero? That was a number, right? I wasn't a number, I was a man.

He turned back to me, the smile in place again, though something about the way it made his face tighten, and it didn't seem to reach his blue eyes, gave me the impression that it was at least partially faked.

"My name is Sora." He said, plopping the papers back down on the desk, and pulling the chair out, making himself comfortable, as he fully faced me. "And, _you_ are Axel." My eyes widened at his words, and I searched my mind.

Axel? Something about that _did _feel familiar.

"Axel…" I tried the name out, and jumped slightly at the sound of my own voice. Yes, I believed that this kid, this _Sora_ was right. I was Axel.

Sora smiled again, and it looked a bit more genuine this time. "Yeah, Axel." I didn't feel reassured at all by Sora's smile. It shouldn't be such a big deal that I now knew what my name was.

Sora's smile faded when he saw my severe lack of joy. The mood in the room turned somber once again, and he started to fidget.

"I take it that you don't know why you're here?" He asked, and I shook my head no. I didn't really seem to know anything. "That's a shame. I don't really know why either." He confessed, and I laid there, still as expressionless as I had been at the start, waiting for him to elaborate. "We are all imprisoned here, for one reason or another. There are some, who were purchased from orphanages and stuff by the state, and forced into a kind of 'indentured servitude' type thing. Some of the others were sold by their parents to pay off debts, or were forced into it by their own debts, and some of them are criminals who they didn't have room for in the prisons. Then, there are those like you who show up with all your paperwork already filed, and with no memory of your life before here." I blinked while I took all of this in.

"Zero?" I asked, and he gave me a startled look, and I realized he hadn't meant for me to hear what he had been muttering to himself earlier.

"We're all in different numerical categories, based on our reasons for being here." Sora picked up the packet once again, and showed the front page to me.

00124514X

The number was big, right across the top, above my name, as if it was saying that was who I was, not Axel. I frowned, and glanced at the rest of the page, hoping it might give me some sort of clue as to why I was here. There was only my name though, and that was only my first. There was no family name to go along with it, just 'Axel.' The rest of the page just seemed to be some information about my physical condition, and something about where I was supposed to be stationed. I sighed, realizing it wouldn't be so easy.

"See? Your number starts with zeros." Sora pointed out. "Mine starts with a 9. The zeros are the ones who have, uh….had their memories erased."

"E…rased?"

"Yeah, well, that's what we think, anyways. None of us really knows for certain where you guys all come from, but that's our best guess about what happened." Sora leaned towards me then, and lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "I think you guys are political prisoners, of some sort, and you know too much about something…or something. That's why they erased everything." I thought that sounded a bit outlandish, but really, what did I know? Sora could've been right on the dot, or who knows, maybe I slept with the wrong guy's wife. Anything could have been possible.

I ran my hand over my face, feeling the slight roughness of few days old stubble, and let out a deep sigh. Sora gasped and my eyes flew open when he grabbed my hand, tugging it close, and moving his lamp closer. I looked to see what had got him so unwound, and my eyebrows lowered in confusion when, for the first time, I noticed the gold band around my left ring finger. The gold band made a half circle around my finger, and was joined together by two, fine silver chain links. On either side of the links were a set of initials. A and R.

I pulled my hand out of Sora's hold, to better examine the ring. I didn't know a whole lot about jewelry (or if I did, I had forgotten it along with everything else) but I had the impression that it was probably an expensive ring. I slipped it off my finger to examine its flawless surface closer, and that was when I noticed that along with the initials engraved into the ring, along the inside there were also the words 'Eternally Bound.' Wow, that was pretty cheesy.

"Where did you-?" Sora stopped his question abruptly, knowing it would have been pointless to ask me. "You better hide it." I blinked at him dumbly, before looking back down at the ring.

AR. A, for Axel, probably, right? But then…what did R stand for? Was it my last name? No…I was pretty sure it wasn't. Then…it was probably someone else.

"I…must have been in love." I spoke up, and Sora gave me a sad look, which let me know he had come to the same conclusion. The theory that I might have slept with the wrong man's wife seemed more likely than before.

Sora gave a helpless shrug. "You might've been married, or something."

That was…sad. So, that means there might be some girl out there missing me, and I couldn't even remember her. I wondered what she looked like. Was she in some kind of similar situation? Did she know where I was taken?

"Here." Sora pulled a short length of the border off of the blanket, and handed it to me. I took it from him, and stared at it blankly.

"What is this for?" I asked, looking back up at him, with my head tilted to the side.

"You can't let any of the supervisors see that ring. They'll confiscate it. We're generally not allowed to own anything, especially the zeros. They don't want anything that might remind you of your past. It makes it easier for them to break you. Personal effects like this, can give a person hope." Sora explained. "So, you should put the ring on this, and tie it around your neck or something, so they don't know."

I slowly sat up, stretching my muscles, and feeling the ache set in anew, and did as Sora instructed. I made sure the knot was extra tight. What Sora said made sense, and I didn't want this one small reminder of me actually being someone worth trying to remember, to be lost.

I looked over to Sora again when I was done, but he seemed to be lost in thought. "How did they miss it?" He asked, and glanced to where the ring was resting against my bare chest. I realized he had a point. They'd taken all of my clothing, stripping me naked, but they missed a ring? It seemed too unbelievable to have just been an accident. "Someone…must have wanted you to keep it." Sora said after another thoughtful moment, and I glanced back down at the ring, reaching up to take a hold of it. I wanted to know more than ever, now, where the ring had come from.

"Well, we better get you dressed." Sora said, forcing another smile to his face, and standing up, and stretching with his hands above his head.

"Don't do that." I said, and frowned, looking at him. The smile faltered, before it fell completely, and he dropped his arms to his side, looking at me confused.

"Huh?" Sora asked, tilting his head to the side.

"That fake smile. It doesn't suit you." I responded quietly, and his face flushed lightly, and he looked off to the side, I assumed, trying to avoid my gaze.

"Oh…" He looked as if he was unsure of what expression he should have.

"So, what is next for me?" I asked, trying to distract him from the unintentional awkwardness I realized I had just created in the room.

"Here," He leaned down and opened a cupboard in the desk, and pulled out a pair of coveralls, and a few other items. He started handing them over to me, and I stiffly moved to first pull on the pair of underwear, the only article in the pile that actually looked new.

Next I slowly pulled on the pair of worn coveralls. I was sure they had been cleaned, but they were dirt stained, and didn't necessarily look it. I pulled them up, and frowned down at my feet, noting that the legs were an inch or two too short. Sora noticed as well, and hurried to explain.

"We've received a big influx of workers lately. There's not really a whole lot left to choose from." He said by way of apology.

Next he handed me a pair of thick wool socks, that I was happy to see were hole free, and a heavy pair of work boots.

"This is the most heated part of the complex." He said as he handed me two long-sleeved shirts to don underneath. "We're closest to the center here. The barracks are pretty far out, so it gets rather cold, especially at night, the only time we're really allowed to even be there, except on seventh days." I put one of the shirts on while he was explaining this to me, before pulling up the top of the coveralls, and zipping them up halfway. Sora next handed me a scarf, and while it didn't smell, it had what looked like yellow sweat stains. Needless to say, I didn't put it on.

"I know it seems…gross, right now, but you'll be glad you have it later." Sora said, and pushed the boots towards me. "Come on, I need to show you around."

Under Sora's urging, I pulled the dirty old work boots on, and was pleasantly surprised when they actually ended up fitting. I guess the surprise showed on my face, because Sora chuckled and smiled a little.

"They might be kinda heartless here, but at least they see the importance of having shoes that fit."

I finished tying them, (noting to myself that I instinctually remembered how) and cautiously followed Sora out of the room. We stepped out into a bigger windowless room. The wall was lined with beds, a few of them occupied, and there was a man and a woman wearing some kind of grey uniform, going around and checking on them.

"This is the infirmary." Sora absently said as he walked through. There was a strong, sharp scent, and I wondered if it was some type of medicine, or something. A few heads turned our way with a slight curiosity before looking away again, uncaring, as if a stranger walking through the room was nothing new.

Sora led me out of the room, not a minute too soon. Something, other than the temperature, in that room had given me the chills. He guided me into a dimly lit corridor, and turned left.

"It'll probably take you a while to really learn your way around, but if you get lost just ask someone who's wearing the same thing as us.' He paused by a set of double doors, and pushed them open, letting me look inside.

"This is the cafeteria." It was pretty typical. A large room filled with tables, and a door that probably led to a kitchen. This room was also windowless, and colorless.

Sora let the doors fall shut, and continued walking. "You should try and stay away from any of the supervisors if at all possible, though. They wear white. I'll point them out if we see any." He said, and stopped in front of another door, pushing it open. "Some of them just love looking for reasons, to say you're misbehaving, so yeah. Just try and avoid them." This room was filled with chairs, all facing the front, where there was sitting a single chair that almost looked throne-like.

"This is the chapel." Sora explained. "Every fourth seventh day a priest comes, and does a service. You only have to go if you want to, though." There was a pleasant odor in the room, and I wondered if it was some kind of perfume. He let the door fall closed, with a slightly disgusted look on his face, and I wondered if Sora disliked religion, or if it was just the scent. I made a mental note to ask him about it later.

"So…uhm." I had to think of the best way to phrase my question, as we continued down the corridor "What, uh, what is this place exactly?" Sora had said something about prisoners, right?

Sora looked up at me with a contemplative look. "Oh…well, I was going to show you. It'll be easier than explaining, anyways, I think.." He gestured for me to keep following him.

We turned down so many different corridors, I can't even begin to tell you, but eventually we came to an end. It looked like some kind of lobby, but it was completely empty, except for us. There was a set of double doors with a small window in each-the first windows I had seen in the entire compound.

Sora walked up to the door, and pushed it open, and stood back while holding it open to let me go through first. My steps faltered, and I came to a stop outside, gaping at my surroundings. We were standing on the side of a mountain, that looked like it had just risen up out of the biggest hole in the planet. The complex was actually built into the side of the mountain, and we were standing on a ledge, that went out a good ways, and just ended abruptly in a sharp cliff. It was cold outside, and I wrapped my arms around my torso, trying to fight off the icy wind that easily pierced my clothing. I turned in a circle, still unbelieving of what I was seeing. The setting sun cast a soft red glow on everything, but at its low angle, it didn't light the depths of the canyon that surrounded us, making it look like it went on forever, perhaps reaching the Earth's core. It definitely gave a hopeless, and abandoned feeling to the mountain-island we were on.

"What in the world is this place?" I asked, shivering, as I started to fully register just how cold it actually was. I tightened my arms around myself, as a gust ripped past me, throwing my body into a giant shiver. The sheer coldness of it surprised me, and I felt like I had been dunked in a pool full of ice water. I could almost imagine and moisture on my face immediately freezing, and I hurriedly backed up, pushing Sora inside, to try and escape the cold. I really hadn't thought of the complex as warm before, but it might as well have been a sauna now compared to the temperature outside. I sighed in relief once the doors fell shut, still shivering, and hurriedly wiped at the small window in the door, that was frosted over, and once again looked outside.

"The Mines of Gillos." Sora said, standing on tiptoes to look through the other window. "One of the few places in the world where orichalcum has ever been found. Everyone is here for different reasons, but we're all still prisoners. Very few ever leave once they're in here."

My eyes narrowed, watching the sun dye the already red earth a fiery hue. The location was perfect for driving in the hopelessness of everything. I couldn't even imagine trying to make an escape attempt, unless it was also a suicide attempt.

"Is this Hell?" The question slipped past my lips uncensored, without me even fully comprehending what I was asking. It seemed that way though, with the red glow that covered the land, it almost looked like it was all on fire.

Sora gave a sad, somewhat ironic smile, and shook his head. "No, but its as close as I think you will get while you're still alive." He sighed, and tugged on my sleeve. "Come on. I'll show you your quarters." He said, turning away from the door.

Sora led me to the barracks, and I managed to get completely turned around once again. He held the door open for me to walk in first, and I frowned as I stepped in. The room was pretty big, and it looked like they had packed as many people in there as possible. Maybe they were hoping all the body heat would keep us from freezing to death.

The beds were bunks, piled three high, and there wasn't even close to enough room to sit up on them, especially since I seemed to be taller than the majority of the people here. Thinking along those lines, I also started wondering if there were any mirrors anywhere. I hadn't seen anything like that yet, and briefly wondered what I looked like. Was I tall and awkward looking, or did my height add a handsomeness to me? I hoped it was the latter. There had to at least be some kind of plus to this life I was finding myself in.

"You're over here with me." Sora said, leading me over to an unmarked bunk in the middle of the room, and I wondered how the hell Sora could tell. It looked the same as every other one.

"You're on the top, I'm the middle." At least the top bunk looked like it had a little more room between it and the ceiling than the lower bunks. I wondered if that was thoughtfulness on someone's part, or just luck.

"Who's on the bottom?" I asked, climbing halfway up the ladder to examine the bed. It looked very uncomfortable. Damn.

"That would be me." I turned around to face the first girl, other than the nurse, that I had seen in this hell so far. She looked around the same age as Sora, and was only a little shorter than him (the kid seemed like he was just on the short side). Her hair was a dark auburn, and hung to around her shoulders. Her whole demeanor spoke of an inner strength, that probably came from pure stubbornness. I could tell she'd been through a lot, and I wondered what her story was.

"Hey." Sora said in response to the girl. "This is Kairi. She works in the kitchens."

"She's a girl." I pointed out, stepping down off of the ladder, and wondered about the lack of a brain to mouth filter, I seemed to have. Kairi looked down at herself in feigned shock.

"Oh my god! You're right! When did that happen?" She turned to Sora with wide eyes, causing the brunette boy to chuckle. I found myself liking her right away.

"Yes, Kairi is a girl. There's only a few other girls here. They don't mine though, they all have other duties." If that was supposed to be a jab at the fact that girls couldn't do menial labor, Kairi didn't seem to actually care.

"Lights out!" A harsh voice barked, and I jumped, and turned to see a pockmarked middle aged man, who's face was only made more intimidating by the scowl on it, standing at the entrance to the room. Everyone scurried to their bunks.

"Come on, climb up." Sora urged.

"In my clothes?"

"You'll be grateful for the extra insulation in a few hours." He said, and pushed me towards the ladder again, and I obediently climbed up. Just in time for people to hurriedly start extinguishing the lanterns around the room, so I had to climb under the covers by feel alone, and not by sight. I heard the door close, and knew that the man, whoever he was, must have left.

"Who was that?" I whispered down to Sora, and heard someone else on a different bunk hush me.

"He's one of the supervisors." Sora whispered back. "We'll get in trouble if we get caught talking though. I'll tell you more in the morning."

I sighed, and rolled over (shoulder almost brushing the ceiling), and pulled the thin, moth eaten blanket up to my chin. I closed my eyes, and could almost imagine another, smaller body, laying against mine. I opened my eyes again, although it made no difference in the pitch black windowless room, and reached down, pulling the ring out from inside my shirt. I couldn't see the engraving at the moment, but I let my fingers travel over the letters, feeling the slight roughness of the words. I laid awake for a while, just feeling out the ring. I wasn't sure if I was even going to be able to fall asleep, I'd only woken up an hour or so earlier after all, and who knew how long I had been out of it before that? So instead, I just closed my eyes, and tried imagining what kind of girl R was. I was pretty sure she was hot. What would my ideal girl look like? I pictured blonde hair. Yeah, definitely a blond. With light eyes. Probably blue, or green or something. I decided to stick with blue. I liked the color Sora's eyes were. Bright, and stubborn. He'd been handed the short stick, but he just ran with it, not letting it get him down. You could tell that by the blue fire in them.

Before I realized it I'd fallen asleep clutching the ring tightly, and imagining a blonde with Sora's eyes curled up against me.

Needless to say, I woke up shortly after, as my body was wracked by a shiver. I couldn't have been asleep for much over an hour at that point. I half considered waking Sora up to ask if there was someplace I could get more blankets, but I already anticipated his answer. I'm sure whoever ran this place didn't care enough about some prisoners comfort that they'd bother with something like extra blankets.

So, I remained like that for the rest of the night, curled up as small as I could, to try and preserve whatever heat I might be able to, and occasionally falling asleep, until another violent shiver woke me up.

Some time later, I was woken up to the lighting of the lanterns around the room, and Sora prodding my knee. "Come on, its time to go to breakfast." He said, as I cracked open one eye and stared at him blurrily.

"Huh?"

"Breakfast. Come on. You don't want to be late, otherwise you might not have enough time to eat, before we have to get to work." I managed a nod, and stiffly stretched my body out, not feeling any warmer than I had the entirety of the night. I had stopped shivering though, at some point. Once I managed to convince my stiff muscles to climb down the ladder, and out of bed, Sora led me to the cafeteria. There was a small horde that was heading in that direction, so even without the brunet, I was pretty sure I could have found my own way. I was grateful for his help though, regardless.

Breakfast was relatively quiet, as everyone was probably still wishing they were asleep. The food was terrible, but I forced it down anyways, feeling half starved, and I wondered when the last time I'd last eaten was, and hoped whatever my last meal had been, it was better than the crap they were feeding us here.

As breakfast was coming to an end, Sora showed me where to put my plate, and directed me to another place in the room where we each picked up a wrapped bar of some sort, that Sora told me was going to be our lunch later. It wasn't much, and I wished I had finished the last of my bowl of sludge.

That day was certainly an experience I'll never forget. I relearned so many things that day just about being human, that utterly baffled me. For the first time I could remember, I felt what it was to really and truly dislike another person. My supervisor, who I never even learned his name, seemed to find it amusing to torment me as I was the newest miner. I also learned how hard it is to keep yourself in check, when you know you're being treated unjustly, but you know that speaking your mind will only result in more rough treatment.

'_Bullying.'_

This was something I learned about quickly, and wondered at how familiar that word felt.

The actual work itself wasn't too terrible. It was manual labor, but my body was strong enough to be able to withstand it without getting too awfully tired. Sora, surprisingly seemed to be holding up pretty well, also. That had been unexpected, because he was a lot smaller than me, but he was certainly no weakling, and carried his own weight well.

"How long have you been here?" I asked sometime during the day. It was impossible to tell what time it might have been, being closed off inside the mountain as we were. The only telling hints, were how much your stomach was rumbling with hunger. We'd just eaten our meager midday meals about an hour or so before.

"Two years now." He answered, loading a cart with debris, alongside me. "I was sent here on my fifteenth birthday."

"Sounds like a helluva birthday present." Sora gave me a wry smile that I returned, and we continued working. "So, what's your story?" I asked, and Sora shrugged, before hefting up a large rock, and depositing it in the cart.

"I made the wrong people mad." He responded. I waited, but he didn't seem like he wanted to elaborate, so I didn't push. On that subject, at least.

"Seems like that's everyone's story." I commented.

"In one way or another, it probably is." He agreed, and I couldn't help but wonder again who it was that I had angered to end up here.

"So, what was your life like before you came here?" I asked, and stumbled a little under the weight of the stone I had just picked up.

"Better. Not perfect, though." Again, that seemed like all Sora was going to tell me, and I rolled my eyes. Apparently he didn't like talking about himself much.

"Well, where are you from?" I asked. I really knew nothing about the world outside of the mines, here, and I wanted to learn whatever I could about it. Who knew if I might discover something about where I was from?

"Hollow Bastion. The capital."

Nothing seemed particularly familiar about the name of the city, but it also didn't feel like it was the first time I'd heard of it. Not that, that really told me anything though.

"What's it like there?" I knew I was probably getting annoying, but it didn't seem like Sora was in the mood to just offer up the information, and I wanted to know, so unless I wanted to remain ignorant, I'd have to push.

"Big. It's the capital, so its gotta be. Its really crowded, and no one gives a damn about another person, for the most part. Crime's pretty low though, because no one wants to anger The Order."

"What's The Order?" I asked through clenched teeth, as I hauled over another large rock and dumped it into the cart, that was starting to get pretty full.

"Well, there's the King, and the royal family, but they're mostly just figure heads. Then there's The Order, which are basically the high priests for the Church of Jeswi. They sort of rule from the shadows. Not very nice people either, and the biggest hypocrites that are likely to ever exist. They prosecute people for breaking the same laws of Jeswi that they themselves do, more often than not." Sora said with a frown. I vaguely wondered if they were the ones Sora had pissed off. He seemed to have some kind of bitter grudge against them.

Sora shook his head suddenly, like he was trying to shake lose his darkening thoughts. "We shouldn't be talking about this. Not here, or now." He said, and glanced discreetly over towards our supervisor, who was at least somewhat occupied at the moment, and not paying attention to me for once.

I barely stopped myself from glaring at the man, knowing that it was likely as soon as I did, he'd turn our way, then just have one more reason to single me out. I gave Sora a simple nod instead, and we worked on in silence. A few hours later we were called to a stop, and not a second too soon. I was sure my hands were covered in blisters underneath my gloves, and felt like if I picked one more rock up, they'd simply fall off.

We headed back to the compound, where we were herded into the cafeteria to eat a dinner, that I could only stomach because I was so hungry. I was starting to realize why there weren't many fat people around. They work you to exhaustion, hardly feed you, and when they do the food was so gross, it had to be good for you, otherwise it would likely kill you just from the taste.

As I was getting my food, I passed Kairi, dishing the food out for everyone, and I gave her a smile, which she returned.

I sat at a table with Sora, and some other people I hadn't actually met yet. I kept quiet though, while I ate, and only half listened to the conversation Sora was having with the other people at the table.

Was this really what my life had come to? Is this all that I had to look forward to until I died? That thought was kind of devastating. If it was, I knew that it probably wouldn't be for much longer, because I couldn't live like this. It all seemed so pointless.

The brief thought of trying to escape crossed my mind, but was quickly gone when I remembered going outside. We were in total isolation from anything in the outside world. Surrounded by vast nothingness, even if I did manage to escape who knew how far I would have to travel before finding any kind of civilization. I wouldn't be surprised if we were hundreds of miles from any kind of city or town.

Not to mention that even if I did manage to escape, live through it, and find some place other than this, I didn't even know what was waiting for me out there. Where was I from? Could I even go back there? Would anyone be waiting for me? My thoughts went to the ring dangling from my neck, but I didn't dare reach up to touch it, not wanting to risk someone finding it. Who knew if R, whoever she was, was even still alive. Or, like I'd considered earlier, maybe she was with someone else, maybe someone important, and that was why I was here. I had no idea if I even found her, if it would make any difference.

That was why they'd taken my memories. Without them, I had no hope. I knew nothing of what was out there, and that held me back better than any bars ever could have hoped to.

"Axel?" Sora asked, turning towards me. He must have noticed how quiet I had become, and he must have been able to read the despair on my face, because he made a little concerned noise, and lifted a hand to my shoulder. "Axel?" He repeated, and I shook my head.

"This is really it, isn't it? This…is my life." I said, as the hard, cold reality really set in. I wasn't going to wake up warm in some bed somewhere, with the mysterious R curled up against my side. This was it…forever.


	2. Away

::**Frail and dry-I could lose it all, but I cannot recall. It's all wrong. Don't cry-clear away this hate, and we can start to make it all right.**

_Away, Breaking Benjamin::_

_***_

**Chapter 2- **Away

I had been concerned about being kept up by the cold, and my thoughts again, but I was wrong, and had fallen asleep an hour or so before lights out had even been announced.

My sleep wasn't very restful though. In it I was walking down an expansive corridor, with walls covered in tapestries, and artwork. The floor was marble, and my steps echoed behind me in the silence. In my dream, I reached a large elaborately designed door, and reached up, pushing my hand against the cold metal, feeling the rough, and smooth texture under my fingertips. It swung open silently and with little resistance. On the opposite side of the door was a large room, filled with gaudy artifacts, and knickknacks. In the center of the room was a large canopy bed, and I focused in on that, not paying too close attention to the rest of my surroundings. I walked towards it, and pulled back the silken sheer curtain, seeing a body curled up underneath the blankets, and a blond head resting on the pillow. I reached my hand out towards the bare shoulder, to wake the person laying there, but before my hand came in contact with warm skin…

"_Axel…"_

My surroundings dissolved, and I was once again laying on my bunk in the dark, staring up at the ceiling blindly, and hopelessly trying to grasp any pieces of my dream that I could. They all slipped away though, like sand between my fingers, until I couldn't recall anything I had witnessed in the dream, other than vague ideas and feelings.

I quietly cursed, and rolled over onto my side, frowning into the darkness.

"Axel?" Even though it was whispered, it sounded loud as it broke the silence, and I couldn't help but start a little.

"Sora?"

"Are you okay?"

I made a small noise of confusion. "Yeah…I'm fine. Why?"

"It sounded like you were crying." The voice sounded like it was coming from the foot of my bed, but as hard as I tried to see, there was only a thick blackness.

I reached up and touched my cheek, surprised to feel it was wet.

"Yeah…I must have been dreaming. I'm fine though." I answered, and felt the mattress dip, as Sora climbed up with me. I scooted over in confusion wondering what he was doing.

"Sora?" I asked, as I felt his arms go around me in a hug.

"I've always had a lot of nightmares. When…when I still lived at home, this is what my brother would always do when I woke up crying. Then he'd stay with me for the rest of the night, and the nightmares never came back."

I was kind of embarrassed to have him comforting me this way, but it was still nice. It was nice just having someone there who understood what you were going through.

"Oh…" I didn't really know what else to say. I was pretty sure that I was okay with this. "You have a brother?"

I settled back against the blankets, and Sora had to half lay on me, just to fit on the bed, but that was okay. It was…nice. I didn't like sleeping alone, and this was a much better alternative.

"Yeah." He sounded hesitant. "I have four of them."

"Oh, are they-"

"Shh!" Some one from one of the other bunks tried shushing us.

"We should sleep. Do you want me to stay?"

I hesitated, thinking I should probably tell him to go back to his own bed, but then remembered how lonely I had felt earlier, and the night before. I didn't like sleeping alone.

"If you don't mind?" Sora just snuggled in closer, and didn't say another word.

I slept the rest of the night, and the cold didn't touch me again.

I woke up the next morning as the lamps were being lit, and finally felt rested. Sora was already up getting dressed, and when our eyes met, he looked away embarrassed, which just made me chuckle a little.

"You seem to be in a better mood this morning." Kairi commented when we were on our way to breakfast, and I shrugged.

"I had a good nights sleep." He responded, and she gave me a knowing grin. I realized then that she quite possibly could have overheard everything between Sora and me. I just gave her another shrug, and continued on towards the cafeteria.

Over the next week or so, I started getting familiar with the routine my life had become. I still didn't like it at all, but it was what my life was becoming. Sora came to my bed one other time, saying he had had a nightmare this time, and we slept the rest of the night together, again.

It seemed kind of odd, but during the daylight hours neither of us spoke of it. The only thing to remind me that it actually had happened, were the looks Kairi would shoot at us whenever we saw her.

But, as I was saying, I was beginning to fall into a routine. We worked six days a week, were allowed a 5 minute shower on two of those days, and on the seventh day, we rested. A priest visited the mines every seventh day, and would hold a service in the chapel, but Sora never went, and I never really saw any need to either. It would've been awkward going alone, and I only knew a few others here, who also didn't feel the need to go.

As I was getting familiar, though, and learning what to do, the feeling of emptiness in me just seemed to grow.

Then, on one seventh day, my third I believe, my routine experienced a small jolt. Kairi had started _seeing_ some guy. His name was Seifer, and I immediately didn't like him. He was rude, and conceited, and would talk complete shit about Kairi whenever she wasn't around. Kairi was an adult though, right? I barely knew her as well, what right did I have in telling her to leave the guy? So, I tried just ignoring him, but it seemed that since he was now 'boyfriend' status with the auburn haired girl, that meant he had to hang around us a lot as well.

It was easy to brush off his comments most of the time, but there was one day in particular I really wanted to just push him off the side of the mountain.

We were sitting around during our few free minutes after dinner, and Kairi was still cleaning up. Of course, the dick just had to open his mouth.

"…---…"

That was it. I wasn't quite sure how it had happened, but the next second I was aware of, I was on the other side of the table, with Seifer on the ground below me with a bloody nose, and a black eye.

"What the hell?!" Seifer's hands were up, trying to guard his face, and I suddenly felt two strong pairs of hands hauling me back, off of him. I just continued to stare at him in shock. I had moved without even thinking about it.

I glanced over at Sora, and he was staring at me in just as much shock, and maybe a little bit of fear.

Great. The one real friend I seemed to have made here was now scared of me.

"Sora, I-"

"Come on!" The two supervisor's that had a hold of me started dragging me out of the cafeteria. I followed along obediently, still in too much shock of my sudden outburst to resist.

They began leading me through the complex. I had started getting familiar with the different corridors, but I was pretty sure that they were taking me some place I hadn't been to before.

We reached one room, the door as unmarked as all the rest, and they knocked, waiting for a soft 'come in' to come from inside. I was pushed through the door then, and saw a man sitting there, wearing black robes, that looked unlike anything I'd seen anyone else here wear, but something seemed vaguely familiar about them. There was no name plaque, or anything though, to tell me who he might be, but the way the two supervisors had straightened as they entered, led me to believe he was someone important.

"What's the problem?" The man was short, but slim, and his brown hair was cut and styled faultlessly. He was middle aged, and almost had a fatherly look to him, except the set to his face was so firm, he almost looked like he could have been carved from stone. I noticed that the small smirk on his lips had an underlying maliciousness to it, and I suddenly grew very nervous. Sora had told me some brief stories about what had happened to miners who stepped out of line, and I was suddenly anticipating a beating. Sora had told me about some of the worse transgressors, who were sent to the Pit. No one really knew what exactly the Pit was, other than a vague description some had managed to stutter out after their time in it. All Axel really knew was it was some type of solitary confinement. He was sure that the stories about how 'Demons whisper to you from the darkness' were just prisoners over active imagination.

"He jumped one of the other prisoners." The supervisor on my left said, pushing me a little bit further forward. The man in the robes sighed, rubbing his temple.

"Right. Number?"

One of the supervisor's nudged me, telling me to speak up.

"Oh, uh…00124514X." I had been forced to memorize it before the end of my first week.

He turned, and started rifling through his files, finally stopping on one, and pulling it out.

"00124514X?" He asked for clarification, and I nodded.

He started flipping through the file, and froze suddenly on one page, his eyes going wide. I wondered if this file had more information one me, than the one I'd seen when I first arrived. It was certainly bigger than that one. Now I wanted nothing more than to see what it said.

He looked up, giving me a cautious look, all maliciousness suddenly gone, before turning to one of the supervisors, still holding my arms. "You said he…jumped…?"

"Yes. I believe there may have been an argument between the two, and this prisoner here, jumped over the table, knocking the other to the ground, and punching him multiple times."

"Only punched?" The supervisors seemed as confused as me.

"Yes."

The man in the robes breathed a sigh of relief, and leaned back in his chair, looking up at me again, as if he was trying to figure out how I ticked, and why I did what I did. He shook his head then, suddenly, as if shaking off some disturbing thoughts.

"So, Axel." I was surprised to hear him use my name. None of the superiors had done anything like that so far. "What is your opinion of this place so far? Is it a good prison?"

I narrowed my eyes. I felt like he was testing me, or something. I really had no idea what the right answer was though, so I decided to answer honestly.

"This place is Hell." I responded, remembering my first impression I'd had of the mines. "Human beings are treated like scum, and given no respect. They're made to slave away, and at least half of them are completely innocent. One day, this place will burn, and I want to make sure I'm there to watch it." Or maybe be the one who caused the burning. I gave him a smirk, feeling every word of what I just said was true. He actually managed to look a little cowed, and flinched a bit from my words looking off to the side.

"Look, Axel…" He looked unsure of whether or not he should say what he was about to.

"I'm not the one who decides for you to be here. I have my orders though, that I have to follow. I'm not the one who sent you here."

Oh yeah, this guy knew something alright.

"You know who I am!" I accused. "You might not have been the one to send me here, but you know who it was, don't you? Tell me!" I demanded, trying to take a step towards him, but the two supervisor's tightened their grip, pulling me back.

"Now, you know that's something I can't do." He said, holding his hands up like he was trying to reason with me.

"Then tell me why I'm here! What did I do?" I was struggling now, and the two men were having trouble holding me back. The man in the robes was starting to look nervous as well.

"Sir, I'm sorry, but I'm not permitted to…" He froze, and his eyes went wide as if he suddenly realized what he'd said. "I mean…"

"Sir?" I asked, all the fight in me suddenly disappearing in my confusion. I was just a prisoner, right? Something seemed really off about all of this.

He shook his head. "Return him, this will serve as a warning. Fighting is not permitted here at Gillos."

Both of the supervisors holding me started, and gave him a questioning look. "My Lord, he…"

"This is my final decision, now do as I say." The two men exchanged wary glances, before giving him a nod. "Yes father." They had to force me to leave the room. I hadn't gotten any of the answers I wanted, and was now only feeling even more lost than before.

I was led back to the barracks. None of the others were back yet, so I sat on the floor between two of the bunks, and leaned back against the wall, staring up at the ceiling. The two supervisors lingered for a few moment, as if they were unsure of if leaving me there unpunished was wise. I just ignored them though, and they soon left.

Something weird was going on, and I hoped Sora would be back soon so I could tell him about it, and maybe get his opinion. He knew a lot more about, well…everything. There was probably some logical explanation for it all.

People slowly started filtering back into the barracks, and when they would spot me, they'd all briefly pause, before continuing with their business trying to ignore me. Before too long, Sora returned along with Kairi.

"…guess I kinda get it. He was probably just fed up with him, but he still didn't really do anything this time, so I don't know--." Sora was saying, and paused when he saw me.

"You…what? But they took you away." He said, stopping in the middle of the room, and giving me a look like he thought I was just a figment of his imagination.

"Yeah, they brought me to some room where there was a guy in dark robes. He kind of scolded me for a bit, before they brought me back…why are you guys looking at me like that?"

Sora and Kairi's eyes were both wide.

"You saw Kruegan?" Kairi asked breathlessly.

"And you're not bleeding profusely?" Sora echoed.

I was pretty sure they were overreacting. Sure he hadn't been the greatest guy, but he didn't seem that bad. A little jumpy, and maybe seemed a bit sadistic at first, but he wasn't some kind of demon or anything.

"No, not really."

Sora was staring at me suspiciously, so I added a shrug, and glanced around. No one else really seemed to be paying attention, but I still wasn't sure if I wanted someone overhearing.

"I'll tell you about it later." I said with a lowered voice.

"You better tell me too!" Kairi demanded, and gave me a sharp poke in the forehead. "And don't forget, I haven't forgiven you for beating on Seifer like that either. Sure, he deserves a good whack every now and then, but the way you let loose on him…" She gave me a puzzled look, and I wondered how badly I had hurt him. Those few moments still kind of felt like a big blur to me.

"I didn't really mean to, he just really pissed me off, and my body acted on its own." I confessed. "Is he okay, at least? How bad off is he?"

Kairi shook her head, and gave me a little smile. "He's fine. Pretty banged up, but nothing's broken, other than his pride." She patted my shoulder, and stepped back, with a mock stern look. "As the girlfriend, though, I'm obligated to still be mad at you." I cracked a small smile at that.

"Of course. I wouldn't expect it any other way." I was glad to see that she didn't actually seem to be angry at me.

"What did he say that set you off so bad?" She asked, and I opened my mouth to answer, before pausing. What _had _he said? The harder I tried to remember, the further away the memory disappeared into my mind.

"I…don't remember." I was a little unnerved by this. How could I have so easily forgotten something that made me lose control so badly? It had to have been something rude or vulgar about me, or Sora, or Kairi or something. I don't think I would've gotten so mad about something else. I turned to Sora with all of my confusion. "Do you remember what he said?"

"Not really. I don't think he really said anything out of the ordinary. We were just talking about some stuff that one of the newbies told us was going on with the Order, and you just suddenly jumped across the table at him." He shrugged. "We had all just kinda thought you went crazy or something."

I wondered if maybe Sora was right, and I was going crazy. I had the feeling it wasn't going to be a long trip.


End file.
